I’m Now a Full Atheist

I grew up in a strong Christian household and was required to go to youth group and church until I was 18. I was a Christian until age 36. I’m 38 now. My upbringing was good and I had good parents who loved me and were not abusive. Yet, it was my dad who drove the final coffin nails in my Christianity. I had doubts for years and argued with creationists over Young-Earth Theory. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was in my twenties, and I remember a former preacher at my church came over (fired for looking at porn at a Christian kids school) and rubbed anointing oil on my mom's head. This was a seminal moment that solidified my doubt.
I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression 6 years ago and was cycling through bad meds and not sleeping for months, and my wife was pregnant with our first son. We also moved to Michigan and I didn't have a job. Perfect storm for anxiety to build, until I had to be admitted to a psychiatric inpatient facility for ten days, in 2017. Three days after I got out, I tried to cut my wrists and kill myself. Back to inpatient, where they changed my meds. I got out and a month later I tried to kill myself by driving fast into an off-ramp concrete pillar. A week later, I tried to kill myself with a knife to the throat. Probably all really calls for help, but I did 2 weeks inpatient.
I got out and finally had the meds and support I needed, minus my father, who told me I was risking my soul when I tried to kill myself and he had been through similar situations but hadn't succumbed to anxiety or depression. He ignored me when I told him my suicide attempts came because I was suffering from things that were not within my control. Depression and anxiety aren't character defects. He didn't understand that, and my relationship with him, once close, hasn't been the same since.
I came to the realization that no god would let people suffer what I had, which was Hell on Earth in my brain. I wanted no part of a religion where I'm told my soul is at risk because of something I do while insane. That shit sounds like a farce of an unprovable amalgamation of myths and Grimms’ Fairy Tales anyway.