Free of Religion
It has been one year, since I became free of Islam. Islam caused me a lot of anxiety and panic attacks, because I always believed in Hell. Sometimes, I slept very badly and woke up with anxiety. I always thought I was a sinner, for having normal thoughts and feelings, like anger. I thought I was a bad person and always had to ask for forgiveness. I thought my depression and fears would go away, if I prayed more and Allah forgave me. But it was Islam that caused me a great deal of depression.
I don't believe the Koran anymore. There are a lot of disturbing things in it. It is full of negativity. They say Islam is a religion of peace and mercy, but in the Koran there is a lot of hate, especially towards unbelievers and people from other religions. Islam thrives on making people anxious about going to Hell. There is nothing holy about the Koran. Most Muslims are just hypocrites. I’m glad I made the choice to leave Islam. I now have peace inside me.
Islam really hindered my view of women. Women who dressed defiantly I called sluts, or whores. Fortunately, I don’t do that anymore. But, sometimes, I still think that. I now have a more positive outlook on women and think they should dress the way they want.
In Islam, men and women are separated. That is why I didn’t built up good contacts/connections with women and was always uncomfortable around them. In Islam, I learned not to look women in the eye. But not looking people in the eye impedes connecting with them and seeing them as human beings. This is something I want to break through. I also want to talk to women easily, make friends with them. I want to have a relationship. I avoided that my whole life, because my parents were against it. We were very religious, and our culture (Asian) doesn't allow us to have a girlfriend.
I learned that sex is allowed only in a marriage. I was, and still am, ashamed of my sexuality. I always thought I was going to Hell, because I had had sex before marriage.
Positive experiences since leaving Islam:
- No more fear of Hell.
- No more anxiety and panic attacks (because I don’t believe in Hell anymore).
- More positivity, more optimism in my life.
- More confidence (because I don’t see myself as a sinner or bad person anymore).
- Seeing women from a different perspective. Thinking more positively about them. More love for women.
- Feelings of freedom.
- More free time.
- No more the feeling that I must beg Allah for forgiveness.
- I do more what I want to do.