My Journey

I’m 15 years “old” and was brought up by a Catholic father and a Jewish mother. I was raised reflecting my father’s religion more than my mother’s, but I celebrate Jewish holidays too. When I was little, I used to be forced to go to church quite often, but, as the years went by, went less and less. I always hated going to church, because I found sitting and listening to an old guy ramble about the same things to be pure torture. I went to religion class (I called it Jesus school) for 7 years, until my 8th grade Confirmation.
My religious beliefs started to die down when I entered middle school, around the time I found out that not believing in God is a thing. When I learned about Evolution and early hominids, in 6th grade, I really did some thinking. If the school is telling me that we evolved from apes and the old ladies at Jesus school are telling me that God created man, someone is not correct. I also thought about the stories of the Bible: How was a human able to resurrect, walk on water, cure the blind, turn water into wine, etc.? How was this being able to make a man out of dust, take one of his ribs and create a woman? Stuff like that.
I already knew I didn’t believe in God in 8th grade, but put on a show to not anger my dad and his family. During that time, I also started to not agree with their “policies”, particularly the way Catholics portray women, Jews and gay people. I hate how it was the woman who was tempted by the Devil into eating the apple. I hate how “the Jews killed Jesus”, even though Jesus himself was Jewish. I really hate how it is a sin for those who are born different to live a life the way they want. The ones that go to my church pretend to be accepting of everyone, but as soon as someone who is different crosses paths with them, their behavior completely changes. I had one particular teacher who was completely insufferable. She used to banter on and on about how normal things were a sin. Here are some of the things she said:

• Having a crush on someone is a sin, because you have lustful/sexual thoughts about them.
• Questioning your sexuality is a sin.
• Having insecurities is a sin.
• Supporting gay/transgender people is a sin.
• Having a first kiss before marriage is a sin.

I was kicked out of her class, after I asked why marriage can’t be between two men or two women, if it’s legal. That was quite a night. Everyone hated her and we all just pretended to like her.
Another thing I don’t like is how a lot of Catholics use their religion to shun others. They say that only God can judge you, but then proceed to tell a girl with blue hair, tattoos, piercings and a low-cut shirt that she needs Jesus. It’s the Catholic parents treating their gay children like they are sick or never existed that disgusts me. Even if your child goes against your religion, as long as they’re not hurting anyone you should still love them unconditionally. I only see Catholics or Christians treating those of a different religion or race in a hateful way. My Catholic grandparents were very unkind to my mother for being Jewish, saying her religion is wrong and using every stereotype in the book. I love my family, but I think their behavior is nasty and not relevant to modern times.
Now, I don’t think a religious person is stupid or irrational, because everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, but I really don’t appreciate it when people try shoving their religion down my throat. Of course, not all Catholics are hateful, but I was around many that were. No one in my family, except my mom and brother, knows that I no longer believe in God. I don’t plan on telling them anytime soon.